“Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket ...” — Ambrose Bierce Quote

“Ambidextrous, adj.: Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.”

“Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity.”

“Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.”

“Everybody has 24 hours and the question is, what do you do with your 24 hours? That's what makes everybody equal.”

“That all men are equal is a proposition to which, at ordinary times, no sane human being has ever given his assent.”

“Everybody should have an equal chance - but they shouldn't have a flying start.”