“I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business ge...” — Jasper Carrott Quote

I've always been sensible with my money. I can't say I'm a business genius.

My driving habits are so ingrained that the driving examiner would fail me in the first mile. That's provided he hadn't died of a heart attack by then.

I have a very happy marriage and friends who keep my feet on the ground. But looking for satisfaction in life is difficult. Maybe being happy is as simple as not being unhappy.

Laughter is the best medicine - unless you're diabetic, then insulin comes pretty high on the list.

I am amazed at radio DJ's today. I am firmly convinced that AM on my radio stands for Absolute Moron. I will not begin to tell you what FM stands for.

I actually think that I'm a genius; not to toot my own horn or anything, but I think I'm a musical genius.

Popular in our time, unpopular in his. So runs the stereotype of rejected genius.

One doesn't gossip with a genius.

I think Stephen Sondheim is a - and I hardly ever use this word - but this is as close as it gets to a genius.

Genius does what it must, and talent does what it can.