“When you have three teenage girls, and you're married 21 years, and ha...” — Jim Breuer Quote

“When you have three teenage girls, and you're married 21 years, and have a mother who's blind in one eye and has dementia who lives with you, and your dad has worse dementia, and you're into metal, and your wife is born again, you're never running out of material.”

“There's not a lot of comics with anything to say. It's entertaining, but when you think of Chris Rock, Richard Pryor or Bill Cosby, they all had something to say.”

“When you're in this business, you're chasing false identities, chasing money and stardom, which is nothing you can hold onto.”

“The greatest thing that I had in my life was those moments with my dad that I sacrificed. I looked at him as a soldier. He's a wounded soldier. It's my duty as a human to take care of this soldier.”

“I was a very naive kid. I didn't know there were people living in closets in Hollywood.”

“There's a confusion of what I do. Are you the rock guy? Are you the family guy? Who are you? I'm the people's entertainer.”

“I was from a tough neighborhood, and we didn't have a lot of money, but my dad worked hard, and my mom is good at budgeting things. That made me appreciate things.”

“My dad and grandpa were in the army and as a country singer you're constantly playing at military bases all across the country and meeting soldiers and their families and hearing their stories.”

“You know, I only claim to play three instruments. My dad is a banker, but a drummer at heart; and my mom used to teach piano lessons when she was younger. So I can play some piano, play a little drums, and fake the bass - but banjo, mandolin, and guitar are my thing.”

“My father invented a cure for which there was no disease and unfortunately my mother caught it and died of it.”

“I wanted to be a forest ranger or a coal man. At a very early age, I knew I didn't want to do what my dad did, which was work in an office.”

“I had old bunk beds that my dad got from Seabrook Farms. They were first used by German prisoners during World War II, who were sent to work the farms during the war. The metal beds with their thin mattresses could easily be used as a jungle gym and I loved them.”