“If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a...” — Jimmy Fallon Quote

“If you're a sports fan you realize that when you meet somebody, like a girlfriend, they kind of have to root for your team. They don't have a choice.”

“Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food.”

“I grew up in an Irish Catholic family, and I think they force you to watch every James Cagney movie.”

“I think back to when I was in high school, to 17-year old Daria, who was dating guys and thought that that was the only way of life. I was very confused, and it was definitely manifesting itself in other parts of my life that were unhealthy.”

“I came out to my parents when I was a junior in college. And it was pretty fine. They were more concerned with why I wasn't dating anyone. But now I'm 36, and I still don't date anyone.”

“I dated dozens of young men, had fun with all, made commitments to none.”