“I returned from my last L.A. visit to find myself tipping the scales l...” — John Niven Quote

“I returned from my last L.A. visit to find myself tipping the scales like Homer Simpson when he tries to gain enough weight to qualify as disabled to be allowed to work from home. All I was missing was his kaftan and Fat Guy Hat. So, I decided it was time to diet.”

“If you watch a group of schoolchildren eating lunch together, you cannot help but notice how it is a comically Lilliputian version of the adult thing - the cocked eyebrows of conversation, the reaching for condiments, the shovelling of food into tiny mouths.”

“Diets play with your mind rather than your body, so if I'm doing a diet, I think about food more than if I'm just eating normally.”

“I box for four hours a week and my diet is pretty healthy.”

“Leave the table while you still feel you could eat a little more.”