“If the government announced that it was going to allocate a vast tranc...” — Will Self Quote

“If the government announced that it was going to allocate a vast tranche of education funding purely to the pupils at the best public schools, there would be a national outcry - and yet this is precisely what the Olympics represents in terms of sports funding.”

“To attempt to write seriously is always, I feel, to fail - the disjunction between my beautifully sonorous, accurate and painfully affecting mental content, and the leaden, halting sentences on the page always seems a dreadful falling short.”

“As a writer, I'm not convinced that we are the best equipped to understand how we go about the business of literary production.”

“My father was placid and easygoing. He owned a small shoe store where I helped out on Saturdays. I think he'd have been pleased if I'd made a career of working in the shoe store. But my mother was ambitious. She encouraged us to read books, and she pushed us toward a musical education.”

“I own every song I've ever released. I do not have a traditional record deal. I still get the lion's share of my money on every single facet. I didn't sign a publishing deal. I'm not bragging, but I'm proud of myself because I'm a kid that had zero education and didn't get his GED till he was 24 in jail.”