“You always hear me talk about my two ladies: my wife and my dog.” — Josh Segarra Quote

“You always hear me talk about my two ladies: my wife and my dog.”

“How do you find a partner? Your crazy has to match their crazy. We're all crazy. We all have our things that make us special, make us nerdy. You just find the other person where their crazy matches your crazy. All of a sudden, you find somebody else, and the things that they think make them nerdy, you think make them cool.”

“I wanted to be a pro wrestler, but my mom didn't let me. I used to make videos and stuff in the backyard. I had a buddy named Daniel Decker, and we used to have a tag team called the 'Deck Garra Era.' We used to make video after video. We were the tag team champions, but then we turned on each other.”

“I love my nose! I was so nervous when I got pregnant that I was going to get that weird nose spread that you sometimes see pregnant ladies get.”

“Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don't mind.”

“I am no longer married, so ladies... there you go.”