“When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you cou...” — Artie Lange Quote

“When I got on Stern I realized that this was the one job where you could be really honest and open, almost like Richard Pryor or something. You can be honest about your life and get laughs.”

“To tell you the truth, there are all these websites predicting my early death, and it's starting to work on me!”

“The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes you don't drink in moderation.”

“Life is about travel, and beauty in life, the love we find, the joy we have the laughs we have together. That's what I'm dedicating the rest of my life to.”

“I always say, if you want to judge a person, see what he/she laughs at.”

“I treasure laughs more than anything; they've helped me in life the most.”