“I'd love to do a show that parents can watch with their children. But ...” — Nate Bargatze Quote

“I'd love to do a show that parents can watch with their children. But I don't need it anymore. If it doesn't happen that way, I'm OK.”

“I like to tell personal stories, not point people out and be like, 'You're dumb.' Instead, I put everything on me and we can say, 'I'm dumb.'”

“I'm very average American in my taste. Any poll they run, I'm right wherever the average American is. What's it called, the Nielsen box? They should just call me, and I'll tell them what we're feeling.”

“If I don't run for president, we'll all be OK.”

“If all of a sudden someone said, 'You have five more kids,' I'd be totally OK with it.”

“Live and think like a poor man and you'll always be OK.”