“There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.” — Lewis Black Quote

“There's no such thing as soy milk. It's soy juice.”

“Political audiences are not fun.”

“I'm not a big birthday guy; I never have been.”

“I don't mean to be funny.”

“To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.”

“If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.”