“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that...” — Joan Rivers Quote

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God's gift, that's why we call it the present.”

“I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”

“I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.”

“I was smart enough to go through any door that opened.”

“I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.”

“It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.”

“The notion that evil is non-rational is a more significant claim for Eagleton than at first appears, because he is (in this book [”

“What have we to fear, we who believe?”

“Well, I never been to much school, you understand, but it seems to me that you're assuming something you shouldn't assume... that God sees the world like you do; one thing at a time, from just one spot. Seems to me that he's supposed to be everywhere, know everything. ...Think about that; he knows what you're feeling, how you're hurting. Feels my pain, your pain like it was his own. Hell son, the question isn't how God could care about just one person; question is, how could he not?”

“God gives us our relatives, thank God we can choose our friends.”

“I think that anything that begins to give people a sense of their own worth and dignity is God.”

“I talk to God but the sky is empty.”