“Whoever has the best take is what matters. My challenge is finding the...” — Hasan Minhaj Quote

“Whoever has the best take is what matters. My challenge is finding the best take, and it'll always be that.”

“I call my style Classic Americana Swag. I do my vibe, and I'll throw in a cool sneaker here or there, a pair of Js.”

“I grew up in a pretty strict household in the sense that we just didn't have cable, so I wasn't familiar with what stand-up comedy was. I remember telling my friends that I thought stand-up comedy was like the thing that happened before the episode of 'Seinfeld.'”

“I work for the UFC, and whoever they say I fight, I will.”

“I'm still far away from the person I want to be, but whoever this is for now, she's all right.”

“Whoever plays well on a given day, that player wins.”