“I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and...” — Demetri Martin Quote

“I've often liked a girl, made her laugh, and thought she liked me, and then found out that she didn't like me that way. I've definitely done time in the friend zone.”

“I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it.”

“But what I was going to say was, I just figured I'm going to go boldly in the direction of my dreams, say it as Thoreau would say, and just see where it takes me.”

“I've been so in the zone, you don't know where you are or where you're at.”

“Whether the ball is on the 99-yard line or the 1-yard line, I'm going to find a way to get into the end zone.”

“I find it really difficult to turn my head off. I find it difficult to zone out.”