Humor Quote by Kurt Vonnegut — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“The champagne was dead. So it goes.”

“1492. As children we were taught to memorize this year with pride and joy as the year people began living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America. Actually, people had been living full and imaginative lives on the continent of North America for hundreds of years before that. 1492 was simply the year sea pirates began to rob, cheat, and kill them.”

“Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.”

“It appeared to the Elders that the people here would believe anything about themselves, no matter how preposterous, as long as it was flattering. To make sure of this, they performed an experiment. They put the idea into Earthlings' heads that the whole Universe had been created by one big animal who looked just like them. He sat on a throne with a lot of less fancy thrones all around him. When people died they got to sit on those other thrones forever because they were such close relatives of the Creator.”

“The only difference between”

“I am a believer in free will. If my dog chooses to hate the whole human race except myself, it must be free to do so.”

“I have detected disturbances in the wash.'”

“A tiger only needs three things to be comfortable. Lots of food, sleep, and…actually, no it’s just those two things.”

“I do this real moron thing, and it's called thinking. And apparently I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.”

“And a special thanks for not burning up the whole ship. Including yourself, you daft bum-rag.”

“I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”