Humor Quote by Calvin Trillin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?”

“Help me, I can’t breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room.”

“A girl’s got to use what she’s given and I’m not going to make a guy drool the way a Britney video does. So I take it to extremes. I don’t say I dress sexily on stage - what I do is so extreme. It’s meant to make guys think: ‘I don’t know if this is sexy or just weird.”

“You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!”

“Nozy Cat lifted one sleepy eyelid, and his marble blue eye glared at her for interrupting his sacred nap. He wore a yellow collar with little red stars printed on it. His second eyelid also opened, and he gave them his irritated blue-eyed glare.”

“People who smile while they are alone used to be called insane, until we invented smartphones and social media.”