Humor Quote by Ilona Andrews — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, "Who's diving for clams now, bitch?”

“I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire.”

“She surveyed the carnage behind him. "Did you have fun?”

“I've never created a riot before. I did cause a brawl at the last formal. A large number of young women there actually arrived with the expectation of seducing me into matrimony, and a couple of their mothers came to blows. It was hilari—I mean, dreadful. Simply dreadful.”

“What’s this”

“I'm capable—”

“That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy.”

“Earrings are like orgasms. You can never have too many.”

“What's this?" he demanded, looking from Clary to his companions, as if they might know what she was doing there.”

“I suppose I'll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”

“Telling an introvert to go to a party is like telling a saint to go to Hell.”

“All you have to do, I tell myself, is keep your mouth shut and look stupid. It shouldn't be that hard.”