Humor Quote by Terry Pratchett — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“This was not a fairy-tale castle and there was no such thing as a fairy-tale ending, but sometimes you could threaten to kick the handsome prince in the ham-and-eggs.”

“It struck Mort with sudden, terrible poignancy that Death must be the loneliest creature in the universe. In the great party of Creation, he was always in the kitchen.”

“In the words of the philosopher Sceptum, the founder of my profession: am I going to get paid for this?”

“The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head.”

“What kind of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter.”

“Wisdom comes from experience. Experience is often a result of lack of wisdom.”

“His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,”

“Down in the water, Octavian yelled, “Get me out of here! I’ll kill you!”

“No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.”

“Fresh is better. But you've never drunk fresh blood. Have you?”

“What's the use of a great city having temptations if fellows don't yield to them?”

“I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.”