Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“I can last two months on a good compliment.”

“Happiness is a Swedish sunset it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it.”

“I'll not go where there is any of that sort of thing going on, again. It's the sure way, and the only sure way;”

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure.”

“I do not fear death. I had been dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.”

“If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he'd never stop throwing up.”

“His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,”

“If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”

“Do I look stupid?" snarled Uncle Vernon, a bit of fried egg dangling from his bushy mustache.”

“Not entirely fair?" His voice became that of the inferno: a rushing, booming howl of icy evil that flew around the great cavern, as swift and cold as the Wendigo on skates. "I am Satan, also called Lucifer the Light Bearer...”

“A friend said to me, “Hey you need to grow a pair. Grow a pair, Bro.” It’s when someone calls you weak, but they associate it with a lack of testicles. Which is weird, because testicles are the most sensitive things in the world. If you suddenly just grew a pair, you’d be a lot more vulnerable. If you want to be tough, you should lose a pair. If you want to be real tough, you should grow a vagina. Those things can take a pounding.”