Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“There is something fascinating about science. One gets such wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of fact.”

“Happiness is a sunset - it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it.”

“The secret of getting ahead is getting started.”

“I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I’m not feeling so well myself.”

“If I were to construct a God I would furnish Him with some way and qualities and characteristics which the Present lacks.”

“The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.”

“Takes a lot of tries before you hit perfection." He paused to reconsider that. "Well, except for my parents. They got it on the first try." (Adrian)”

“It takes a lot of time to be a genius. You have to sit around so much, doing nothing, really doing nothing.”

“I do not know if all cops are poets, but I know that all cops carry guns with triggers.”

“I'm about as intimidating as a butterfly.”

“Wow. I didn’t think it was possible for him to look any more intoxicating than he already did. But a leather clad Ren standing next to the gorgeous racing motorcycle holding his helmet made my brain go numb. I had kind of a this-is-your-brain-on-drugs moment, only mine was more like a this-is-your-brain-on-seeing-Ren-in-tight-leather moment. If they’d been smart, the Ducati Company should have used him in a commercial and given him the bike for free.”

“Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.”