Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Happiness is a Swedish sunset it is there for all, but most of us look the other way and lose it.”

“I once sent a dozen of my friends a telegram saying 'flee at once - all is discovered.' They all left town immediately.”

“Human nature is all alike.”

“I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

“I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn’t know.”

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”

“Whatever story you're telling, it will be more interesting if, at the end you add, "and then everything burst into flames.”

“I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.”

“In theory it was, around now, Literature. Susan hated Literature. She'd much prefer to read a good book.”

“They say: Think twice before you jump. I say: Jump first and then think as much as you want!”

“Holy mother of rectangles.”

“I'm not absolutely certain of the facts, but I rather fancy it's Shakespeare who says that it's always just when a fellow is feeling particularly braced with things in general that Fate sneaks up behind him with the bit of lead piping.”