Humor Quote by Phyllis Diller — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next 12 months teaching them to sit down and shut up.”

“One morning you wake up with more life behind you than in front of you, not being able to understand how it’s happened.”

“When something needs to be said, you look for a man to say it. But when something needs actually to be done, you look for a woman.”

“We're going to knock those demons out and slay them with the power of Jesus. Hallelujah, can I get an amen?- Timmie”

“Rachel: You're a half-blood, too?”

“No, my friend, I am not drunk. I have just been to the dentist, and need not return for another six months! Is it not the most beautiful thought?”

“How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?" asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous pudding.”