I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
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“I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.”
— Mitch Hedberg · Adding
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MotivationalLife LessonsArchitectureAgeBestArtBirthdayBrainyBusinessCarChanceChristmasCommunicationComputersCoolDadDatingDesignDietEasterEducationEnvironmentalEqualityExperienceFaithFather's DayFinanceFitnessFoodFunnyFutureGardeningGovernmentGraduationGreatHistoryHomeImaginationIndependenceInspirationalIntelligenceJealousyLife QuotesMarriageMedicalMemorial DayMenMomMoneyMorningMother's DayMoviesMoving OnMusicNew Year'sParentingPatriotismPetPoliticsPositivePowerRelationshipRelationshipsReligionScienceSmileSocietySpaceSportsSympathyTeacherTechnologyTeenThankfulThanksgivingValentine's DayTravelVeterans DayWarWeddingWomenWorkInspirationLove QuotesGodRomanceDeathPoetrySuccessDreamsLeadershipWisdomOtherActionAdversityAttitudeBeautyBeliefChangeCharacterCompassionConfidenceCourageCreativityCuriosityDisciplineExcellenceFailureFamilyFearFocusForgivenessFreedomFriendshipGoalsGratitudeGrowthHappinessHard WorkHealingHealthHopeHumilityHumorJourneyKindnessKnowledgeLetting GoLifeLoveMindfulnessMindsetNatureOpportunityOvercomingPatiencePeacePerseverancePhilosophyPotentialProgressPurposeSelf ImprovementSimplicitySpiritualityStrengthTimeTrustTruthWealthGood
About Mitch Hedberg
Explore more quotes by Mitch Hedberg on topics like Adding, wisdom, and life lessons.
More Quotes by Mitch Hedberg
“I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.”
“If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.”
“This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.”
“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.”
“I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.”
“When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.”
More Adding Quotes
“For my part, if I consider poetry as an object, I maintain that it is born of the necessity of adding a vocal sound (speech) to the hammering of the first tribal music.”
“It just felt like the Nationals wanted me the most. And I think they showed it by adding that sixth year and coming after me aggressively.”
“But what is more, if we have succeeded in adding to the basic understanding of our universe and ourselves, we will have made a contribution to the totality of human culture.”
“To get a job as a blackjack dealer, you have to be able to count very quickly. Obviously, you need to do at least math, adding up to 21 very quickly.”
“If you judge by what people do to improve their health, they value their lives highly. So adding to your period of vitality is something that most people would certainly do. If there was a pill that would do that, it's clear that everyone would take it.”
“In the U.S., PC-makers have no incentive to lower prices because it kills their profit margins. They keep adding new features like high-end retina displays and faster processors to justify their high prices.”