“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'...” — Mitch Hedberg Quote

“The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.”

“My friend asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said 'No, but I want a regular banana later, so... yeah.'”

“I like Kit-Kat, unless I'm with four or more people.”

“If I had nine of my fingers missing I wouldn't type any slower.”

“Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.”

“Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!”

“The only good is knowledge, and the only evil is ignorance.”

“I believe that working with good people matters because then the work environment is good. If there is a sense of respect and belief among the people you work with, that is when good work is done.”

“We should seek by all means in our power to avoid war, by analysing possible causes, by trying to remove them, by discussion in a spirit of collaboration and good will.”

“I'm enormously interested to see where neuroscience can take us in understanding these complexities of the human brain and how it works, but I do think there may be limits in terms of what science can tell us about what does good and evil mean anyway, and what are those concepts about?”

“I think life is a matter of choices and that wherever we are, good or bad, is because of choices we make.”

“It is not good to be too free. It is not good to have everything one wants.”