“Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. Aft...” — H. L. Mencken Quote

“Before a man speaks it is always safe to assume that he is a fool. After he speaks, it is seldom necessary to assume it.”

“Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?”

“The chief contribution of Protestantism to human thought is its massive proof that God is a bore.”

“Is it crazy that George Bush, ex-President of America, now paints pictures of dogs? Tiny, little, nice pictures of dogs, after all the suffering that he caused? That's crazy that he's doing that!”

“I do not deny that I planned sabotage. I did not plan it in a spirit of recklessness nor because I have any love of violence. I planned it as a result of a calm and sober assessment of the political situation that had arisen after many years of tyranny, exploitation and oppression of my people by the whites.”

“I get really nervous if pigeons are flying around before shows. I can't stand them after one once flew in through my bathroom window and went for me while I was having a wee. That was enough. I think pigeons target me.”