“My belief is that if we take away that right to bear arms, the only pe...” — Bill Engvall Quote

My belief is that if we take away that right to bear arms, the only people that are going to have them are... the ones breaking into your house.

The one thing people like about my show is it's universal. Everybody can relate to it. I think people enjoy going to a show and saying, 'Something like that happened to me.'

I was doing a bit that stupid people should be slapped. But the more I did it, the more I didn't like that connotation, the violence and all that. The more I thought about it, I thought they should just wear signs. And, man, it just took off.

I've never said I was the best dancer, and I never said I was a good dancer.

Obama and his me-too Senate majority led by Nevada's Harry Reid and New York's Chuck Schumer - given the chance - would indeed wipe out our tradition of the right to keep and bear arms, and with it our right to self-protection in a dangerous world.

I know for a fact I watch too much telly, so it's great to have the option of a yucca. I can switch off the snooker and stand in front of my yucca instead, arms folded. Occasionally I'll speak to it or run my knuckles down its leg. Share a moment with it.

I cannot consent to be led three or four hundred leagues out of my route, without its being by force of arms.

I have friends who are black whose families opened their arms to them when they came out; I have friends who were white where they were rejected.