“President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep trac...” — Paula Poundstone Quote

“President Obama could keep a big map with push pins on it to keep track of how many countries hate us, and when we get down to only half, let's have a ball. I'll blow up the balloons myself.”

“I was diagnosed a number of years ago with obsessive-compulsive disorder - which everyone has, to some degree - and I have this really annoying trait where in conversation, I always steer it back to something that happened to me.”

“I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.”

“Life has its trade-offs. As you age, you lose things like teeth and the ability to play in the ball pit at fast-food restaurants, and you gain things like experience and employer-based health insurance.”

“Some of the best lessons that I've ever learned are on a ball field - basketball, football, baseball, golf. And I learned great lessons from my coaches - being on time, being mentally tough, having some discipline, and being part of a team.”

“The most important thing about being on a football pitch is having options. That's what makes players look good. If you get the ball in possession and you look up and you've got three or four options, it's so much easier just having one or maybe two.”