“My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out...” — Erma Bombeck Quote

“My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car.”

“Housework can kill you if done right.”

“Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.”

“First time I sang, I was singing Alicia Keys in the bathroom of my mom's beauty shop. I was six.”

“If you get rid of emotion for a minute and think about the threat of terrorism statistically, it's not even there. The probability that you will slip on a wet floor in your bathroom and die is a thousand times higher than the probability of you dying as a result of terrorism.”

“Lesbianism is so rampant in some of the schools in southeast Oklahoma that they'll only let one girl go to the bathroom. Now think about it. Think about that issue. How is it that that's happened to us?”