“Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary ...” — Erma Bombeck Quote

“Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub.”

“When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.”

“Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments.”

“That would really be my fantasy - maybe just do three shows a year and each year in a different city, just singing for the people who really want to see it, and then just write for other people. I do love to sing, but I'm just as happy singing in the bathtub, you know?”

“I can't even handle a spider in my bathtub. I'm scared of the dark, and I've got ultimate, epic bug phobia.”

“I've always wanted to play a coach in a movie, just to be the captain of anything in the pirate ship of my bathtub.”