“So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimmi...” — Tim Vine Quote

“So I rang up my local swimming baths. I said 'Is that the local swimming baths?' He said 'It depends where you're calling from.'”

“Velcro: what a rip-off.”

“My DVD cellophane was put on by a psychiatrist. It was shrink-wrapped.”

“Sydney's most famous beach is Bondi. At its southern end is Bondi Baths, an eight-lane, 50-meter saltwater pool built into the cliffs.”

“Showers use a huge amount less water than baths.”

“I do have a dream, a painting, the baths of La Grenouillere for which I've done a few bad rough sketches, but it is a dream. Renoir, who has just spent two months here, also wants to do this painting.”