“If you talk about Lindsay Lohan for four or five days a week, you real...” — Chelsea Handler Quote

“If you talk about Lindsay Lohan for four or five days a week, you really can't bear to talk about her on the weekends.”

“Some people think Hollywood is shallow. I find that it's home.”

“I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense.”

“I have a pathological terror of falling through ice. I nearly drowned once. I fell off a boat and got a cramp, and was rescued by an oil-rig diver, a great bear of a man who simply leant into the water and scooped me out with one finger.”

“I have never tried to bear a judgment against my own father because I consider that, in our European culture, one does not judge his parents. Now, I have expressed my disagreements with my father on certain points, disagreements related to the way one should express things, something that has also to do with a difference of generations.”