Best Joke Quotes to Inspire, Uplift & Motivate You Every Day

“Attending a funeral would leave the average person insane, if they truly believed that sooner or later they are also going to die.”

“You need to be greedy or ignorant to truly want to live forever.”

“When a joker dies, the joke remains.”

“The joke is generally in the oddest way the truth and yet not the fact.”

“I started studying law, but this I could stand just for one semester. I couldn't stand more. Then I studied languages and literature for two years. After two years I passed an examination with the result I have a teaching certificate for Latin and Hungarian for the lower classes of the gymnasium, for kids from 10 to 14. I never made use of this teaching certificate. And then I came to philosophy, physics, and mathematics. In fact, I came to mathematics indirectly. I was really more interested in physics and philosophy and thought about those. It is a little shortened but not quite wrong to say: I thought I am not good enough for physics and I am too good for philosophy. Mathematics is in between.”

“A philosopher is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there. A theologian is the man who finds it.”

“We must respect the other fellow's religion, but only in the sense and to the extent that we respect his theory that his wife is beautiful and his children smart.”

“And it's Gryfindor in possession again, as Johnson takes the Quaffle— Flint alongside her —poke him in the eye, Angelina —it was a joke, professor, it was a joke...”

“In eternity there is no time, only an instant long enough for a joke.”

“It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.”

“Investigation?" Isabelle laughed. "Now we're detectives? Maybe we should all have code names.”