“Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts...” — Dave Barry Quote

“Scientists now believe that the primary biological function of breasts is to make males stupid.”

“We journalists make it a point to know very little about an extremely wide variety of topics; this is how we stay objective.”

“Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling.”

“If you do not believe yourself no one else will.”

“Even though we are deceived, still believe. Though we are betrayed, still forgive. Love completely even those who hate you.”

“The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just.”