“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I ...” — Woody Allen Quote

“What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.”

“As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.”

“If only God would give me some clear sign! Like making a large deposit in my name at a Swiss bank.”

“I used to hate exposure situations. What is generally referred to as 'red carpet.'”

“I remember the first time I played on a synthetic turf field. I thought, 'Wow, this is amazing. What is this stuff?' It seemed so much better than that concrete-like Astro Turf that was essentially just a green, thin carpet over hard ground.”

“I love dressing up for the red carpet.”