“I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. So...” — Karl Pilkington Quote

“I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about.”

“They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.”

“I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.”

“Some things are best left to memories.”

“You try to do the best with what you've got and ignore everything else. That's why horses get blinders in horse racing: You look at the horse next to you, and you lose a step.”

“You can only do your best. That's all you can do. And if it isn't good enough, it isn't good enough.”