“When you get into a car, and there's trash, or it's dirty, or one of t...” — T. J. Miller Quote

“When you get into a car, and there's trash, or it's dirty, or one of the hubcaps is off, you're like, 'Come on, dude.' Every woman likes the confidence and self-respect that says, 'I get oil changes. I look after my vehicle.' That's what I recommend: Act like you don't care, but take care of your body.”

“Listen to my voice - I sound like I'm permanently congested.”

“'Yogi Bear' changed my life in ways that I can't explain because it's not a full feature on me. 'Yogi Bear' - there's everything before 'Yogi Bear,' and there's everything after 'Yogi Bear.' Like a major car accident, or the birth of Christ.”

“I can't stand a house to be dirty or even messy, even. I am a bit OCD. Wash the dishes when you finish eating.”

“I feel like it's so important to get your little ones' hands dirty in the kitchen. It gives them kitchen confidence, and it makes them feel accomplished.”

“Being a harsh, dirty comic, the last person on earth I ever expected to help my career was Jay Leno. I had always thought of performing on 'The Tonight Show' as an unachievable goal, because I bought into the myth that only squeaky clean, family-friendly material would be welcome there.”