“Listen to my voice - I sound like I'm permanently congested.” — T. J. Miller Quote

“Listen to my voice - I sound like I'm permanently congested.”

“I told the Mucinex people, 'You picked me because I always sound sick'. They were like, 'Well, it doesn't hurt'.”

“When you get into a car, and there's trash, or it's dirty, or one of the hubcaps is off, you're like, 'Come on, dude.' Every woman likes the confidence and self-respect that says, 'I get oil changes. I look after my vehicle.' That's what I recommend: Act like you don't care, but take care of your body.”

“It's time we permanently repeal the tax on possessions that people leave to their children.”

“We both came from families in which parents got married, had children and the whole thing. So we were not the kind of people to live together permanently.”

“I'm not going to change my whole life because I've got children - until, obviously, they have to go to school, and we've got to be permanently in one place.”