“What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job ...” — Phyllis Diller Quote

“What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.”

“Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.”

“Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.”

“I was nine or 10 years old and my father was sacked on Christmas Day. He was a manager, the results had not been good, he lost a game on December 22 or 23. On Christmas Day, the telephone rang and he was sacked in the middle of our lunch.”

“I absolutely love Christmas, I am like the second Mariah Carey. I am always in the mood to be ready for Christmas.”

“One of the things I'm proudest of, one year on my refrigerator, I taped a Christmas card from the Republican National Committee and season's greetings from Gus Hall of the American Communist Party. They both stayed up their months and I'm proud of it.”