“People have their special room for Christmas. One year my mum left her...” — Michael McIntyre Quote

“People have their special room for Christmas. One year my mum left her present on the arm of the sofa and it was still there the following Christmas!”

“My wife is very fit and looking younger every day, whereas I'm looking older day by day.”

“I was trying to do one-liners and it took me years to realise I just had to be myself. My fear was if I was myself and no one found it funny, I'd have nowhere left to go.”

“Globalization has created this interlocking fragility. At no time in the history of the universe has the cancellation of a Christmas order in New York meant layoffs in China.”

“So many Christmas films either are twee, or try and go super edgy, then stick on something Christmassy at the end of the movie.”

“It's a sad commentary on our time - to use a phrase much favored by my late father - that people increasingly celebrate Christmas Day by going to the movies.”