“I'm not someone who gets to play The O2 and places like that, but that...” — Tim Vine Quote

“I'm not someone who gets to play The O2 and places like that, but that's the kind of rock and roll venue. The popularity of stand-up means that some people are getting to play rock star venues.”

“So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red.”

“For one thing, I don't pun excessively in real life.”

“The Majestic Theatre in San Antone is as good as it gets.”

“Obama gets his identity and his ideology from his father.”

“The tongue is the only tool that gets sharper with use.”