“I'm on a whisky diet... last week, I lost three days!” — Tommy Cooper Quote

“I'm on a whisky diet... last week, I lost three days!”

“Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.”

“Electricity is a wonderful thing. Do you realise that if we didn't have electricity, we'd be watching television by candle light?”

“I'm terrible at sticking to any sort of diet. The more I think I can't eat something, the more I want to eat it. And I know this is the most annoying thing for a girl to say, but I'm just really lucky; I can eat pretty much what I want.”

“My soul is dark with stormy riot: directly traced over to diet.”

“It was when my American coach Dan Pfaff came over from the States in 2009 and started working with me that we really began to look at my diet. He decided I was eating too many carbohydrates, so I cut back on bread. Over the next year I lost weight and became leaner.”