“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on...” — George Carlin Quote

“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.”

“I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. They should be more vivid. Here is one I would suggest: "Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.”

“Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.”

“Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.”

“I owe my whole acting career to the fact that I'm a singer. I went out to Los Angeles and auditioned for a TV show called 'Fame L.A.' The original role was for a comedian, but they said I wasn't very funny, so they asked me, 'What else can you do?' So I played a singer.”

“This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.”