“When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep goo...” — Steven Wright Quote

“When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, 'Did you sleep good?' I said 'No, I made a few mistakes.'”

“I was always making my friends laugh, but I never wanted the attention of the whole classroom.”

“My favorite book is anything by Kurt Vonnegut - he's my literary hero. I got to meet him several times, which was a great thrill for me. I don't really remember what we talked about.”

“In life you can't lie to yourself - you have to look in the mirror and feel good about your choices, feel good about your morals - at the end of the day, it's yourself you have to deal with. Listen to your gut and your instincts.”

“Like every other good thing in this world, leisure and culture have to be paid for. Fortunately, however, it is not the leisured and the cultured who have to pay.”

“Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good.”