Humor Quote by Groucho Marx — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”

“Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.”

“Room service? Send up a larger room.”

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas I'll never know.”

“I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.”

“From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”

“I don't believe there's any problem in this country, no matter how tough it is, that Americans, when they roll up their sleeves, can't completely ignore.”

“It doesn't matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don't appreciate your genius for inventing the internet-”

“I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.”

“This college would probably have the same problem as the last one did.”

“Reality depresses me. I need to find fantasy worlds and escape in them.”

“Sometimes the most remarkable things seem commonplace. I mean when you think about it jet travel is pretty freaking remarkable. You get in a plane it defies the gravity of a entire planet by exploiting a loophole with air pressure and it flies across distances that would take months or years to cross by any means of travel that has been significant for more than a century or three. You hurtle above the earth at enough speed to kill you instantly should you bump into something and you can only breathe because someone built you a really good tin can that seems tight enough to hold in a decent amount of air. Hundreds of millions of man-hours of work and struggle and research blood sweat tears and lives have gone into the history of air travel and it has totally revolutionized the face of our planet and societies.”