Humor Quote by Darynda Jones — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“There is a great need for a sarcasm font.”

“His gaze slid over me like a veil of fire. He could ignite my deepest desires with a single glance. I decided right then and there no more reading romance novels by candelight.”

“Want coffee?" I asked, as I headed that way.”

“After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, "You named your breasts?”

“Sorry. i just can't seem to help myself. My brain is freaking out. Two predawn mornings in a row. It doesn't know what to think, how to act. I'll have a talk with it later. Perhaps get it some counseling.”

“When life hands you lemons say,”

“And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl.”

“She'll be back," Ranger said. "But not tonight.”

“Bishop was all done with the witty conversation. 'Will you swear?'”

“Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?”

“I figured something out," he said aloud. "The future is unpredictable.”

“Freddie experienced the sort of abysmal soul-sadness which afflicts one of Tolstoy's Russian peasants when, after putting in a heavy day's work strangling his father, beating his wife, and dropping the baby into the city's reservoir, he turns to the cupboards, only to find the vodka bottle empty.”