Humor Quote by George Carlin — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Age is a hell of a price to pay for wisdom”

“Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure.”

“I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.”

“The caterpillar does all the work, but the butterfly gets all the publicity.”

“Let a smile be your umbrella, and you'll end up with a face full of rain.”

“Electricity is really just organized lightning”

“Whereas story is processed in the mind in a straightforward manner, poetry bypasses rational thought and goes straight to the limbic system and lights it up like a brushfire. It's the crack cocaine of the literary world.”

“He started to touch the mechanism under the keyboard,”

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”

“Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?”

“Be sure to lie to your kids about the benevolent, all-seeing Santa Claus. It will prepare them for an adulthood of believing in God.”

“I feel an almost overwhelming interest in the methods of daylight abduction employed by the modern youth.”