Humor Quote by Mark Twain — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Whoever is happy will make others happy, too.”

“If I were to construct a God I would furnish Him with some way and qualities and characteristics which the Present lacks.”

“A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes.”

“Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.”

“I can last two months on a good compliment.”

“Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.”

“Gaia visited her daughter Mnemosyne, who was busy being unpronounceable.”

“It's my turn to see you through,' she whispers, coming back to me and wrapping me in her blanket as I lose my shit all over again. She holds me until I recover my Y chromosome.”

“No, thanks," said Harry. "The toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it— it might be sick." Then he ran, before Dudley could work out what he'd said.”

“Just give me a second. Attempting to give a fuck...Attempting harder to give a fuck...Sorry, there was an error; fuck not given.”

“Do you answer a question directly?”

“I've had great success being a total idiot.”