Humor Quote by Kurt Vonnegut — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut? Why don't you take a flying fuck at the mooooooooooooon?”

“The last thing I ever wanted was to be alive when the three most powerful people on the whole planet would be named Bush, Dick and Colon.”

“Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.”

“The letter said that they were two feet high, and green, and shaped like plumber's friends. Their suction cups were on the ground, and their shafts, which were extremely flexible, usually pointed to the sky. At the top of each shaft was a little hand with a green eye in its palm. The creatures were friendly, and they could see in four dimensions. They pitied Earthlings for being able to see only three. They had many wonderful things to teach Earthlings, especially about time. Billy promised to tell what some of those wonderful things were in his next letter.”

“What he meant, of course, was that there would always be wars, that they were as easy to stop as glaciers. I believe that, too.”

“Oh! it is absurd to have a hard-and-fast rule about what one should read and what one shouldn't. More than half of modern culture depends on what one shouldn't read.”

“The champagne was dead. So it goes.”

“Some people talk about other people’s failures with so much pleasure that you would swear they are talking about their own successes.”

“You won't even take your bow? Are you planning to throttle a moose with your bare hands, then?”

“This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence.”

“Regardless of what I think about Islam or Wicca or any other religion, the fact is that it's a group of people. Every faith has its ceremonies. And since it's made up of people, every faith also has its assholes.”