“As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parent...” — Jim Gaffigan Quote

“As a dad, you are the Vice President of the executive branch of parenting. It doesn't matter what your personality is like, you will always be Al Gore to your wife's Bill Clinton. She feels the pain and you are the annoying nerd telling them to turn off the lights.”

“Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.”

“I always imagine that if I met Dr. Seuss, he would be very similar to Crispin Glover.”

“The children who are 'our future' will inherit a world created not just by parental devotion but by the sort of zealous, focused endeavors that can preclude good parenting.”

“I'm torn about late parenting. I believe people should spend their twenties living and having fun and not having any regrets later. I also think people in their thirties generally make better parents but so many of my friends are having trouble - myself included - as fathers get older.”

“What lingers from the parent's individual past, unresolved or incomplete, often becomes part of her or his irrational parenting.”