Humor Quote by Neil Gaiman — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“Why do they blame me for all their little failings? They use my name as if I spent my entire days sitting on their shoulders, forcing them to commit acts they would otherwise find repulsive. 'The devil made me do it.' I have never made one of them do anything. Never. They live their own tiny lives. I do not live their lives for them.”

“America was, to them, the place that good people went to when they died. They were prepared to believe just about anything could happen in America.”

“You have a very open relationship with your fans.”

“Bod shrugged. "So?" he said. "It's only death. I mean, all of my best friends are dead.”

“Fox was here first, and his brother was the wolf. Fox said, people will live forever. If they die they will not die for long. Wolf said, no, people will die, people must die, all things that live must die, or they will spread and cover the world, and eat all the salmon and the caribou and the buffalo, eat all the squash and all the corn. Now one day Wolf died, and he said to the fox, quick, bring me back to life. And Fox said, No, the dead must stay dead. You convinced me. And he wept as he said this. But he said it, and it was final. Now Wolf rules the world of the dead and Fox lives always under the sun and the moon, and he still mourns his brother.”

“Basically, everyone thinks--knows--how sweet I am.”

“You'd be surprised how many people in the modern age no longer fear zombies as much as teletubies.”

“Is that a bulletproof vest? See, now that's so insulting. That's like saying I'm not smart enough to shoot you in the head.”

“Shigure: JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR A SECOND, KYO!”

“Even now, despite Angeline's watchfulness, she'd occasionally oscillate between random topics, like how shepherd's pie wasn't a pie at all and why it was pointless for her to take class in typing when technology would eventually develop robot companions to do it for us.”

“How in the name of Merlin's pants have you managed to get your hands on those Horcrux books?”