Humor Quote by Jane Austen — Inspiring Words on Life, Love & Wisdom

“…one half of her should not be always so much wiser than the other half…”

“Seldom, very seldom, does complete truth belong to any human disclosure; seldom can it happen that something is not a little disguised or a little mistaken.”

“It does not come to me in quite so direct a line as that; it takes a bend or two, but nothing of consequence. The stream is as good as at first; the little rubbish it collects in the turnings is easily moved away.”

“It would be mortifying to the feelings of many ladies, could they be made to understand how little the heart of a man is affected by what is costly or new in their attire... Woman is fine for her own satisfaction alone. No man will admire her the more, no woman will like her the better for it. Neatness and fashion are enough for the former, and a something of shabbiness or impropriety will be most endearing to the latter.”

“I can feel no sentiment of approbation inferior to love.”

“Every impulse of feeling should be guided by reason; and, in my opinion, exertion should always be in proportion to what is required.”

“Close your eyes and picture it. Can you see it?”

“You're thinking I'm one of those wise-ass California vegetarians who is going to tell you that eating a few strips of bacon is bad for your health. I'm not. I say its a free country and you should be able to kill yourself at any rate you choose, as long as your cold dead body is not blocking my driveway.”

“Asshole.” “Just for that, I expect you to wrap that dirty mouth of yours around my cock tonight.” He narrowed his eyes on me.”

“Canada is a myth people made up to entertain children, like the Tooth Fairy. There’s no such place.”

“Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”

“Do you know people who insist they like 'all kinds of music'? That actually means they like”